Tudo sobre tudo

Wonderfully described definitions

  

CIGARETTE:   
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!  

 

MARRIAGE:   
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gains her masters  

 

LECTURE:   
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either  

 

CONFERENCE:   
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present  

 

COMPROMISE:   
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece  

 

TEARS:   
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!  

 

CONFERENCE ROOM:   
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on  

 

ECSTASY:   
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before  

 

CLASSIC:   
A book which people praise, but never read  

 

SMILE:   
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!  

 

OFFICE:   
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life  

 

YAWN:   
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth  

 

EXPERIENCE:   
The name men give to their mistakes  

 

DIPLOMAT:   
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip  

 

OPTIMIST:   
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"  

 

MISER:   
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!  

 

FATHER:   
A banker provided by nature  

 

BOSS:   
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early  

 

POLITICIAN:   
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence later  

 

DOCTOR:   
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!