Art&MusicaLSlides® Manuel - "Let's Offend Everyone!"

I came out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage.
A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.'
I told him 'I wish I had your will power.'

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells.
Apparently "Blacks" and "Rumanian gipsies" were not the correct answers.

A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait..'
I said 'don't worry dear, you're bound to lose it eventually. '

I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank.

When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?'
I said 'Nope, you're still black'

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks: What is wrong?
The boy says Me ma is dead.

Oh be jaysus the man says: Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you?
The boy replies: No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away..But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!


Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.


I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I'm going to take that.


Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him “where am I?”
The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You're in that basket up there."


I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong. The question was Where do women have the curliest hair??
The answer I should have given was Fiji...

 

Manuel Augusto Alves
CP 4150-798 Porto Portugal

 

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